Rain or R.A.I.N.?

With April showers coming next month I thought that the subject of rain will be timely to write about. We all know the saying, “When it rain it pours” or we heard seniors saying that their leg joints hurt when it rains. There is also a revitalizing aspect to rain. Flowers look more colourful after the rain, the air smells fresh and the old grey winter snow is gone. So, the jury is still out – if this is a bad or a good event. We accept rain as a part of life, we have no control over it. We need to accept it.

Today I wanted to write about R.A.I.N, which is actually an acronym. It was used by Tara Brach in her book “Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with The Practice of RAIN”. I used RAIN practice many times when I had an ankle injury last winter.

I was upset that I did not notice the slippery curb and fell down. This practice is also a used with Mindful Eating (dealing with cravings). It works with people prone to anger. They are often short fused, talking first and thinking second, you may even know a person like that.

Let me show you how to apply RAIN meditation in a particular life situation. Let’s imagine that your neighbour accused you of being irresponsible. It’s time of pandemic, and we are all “on the watch”. This morning you had one friend over, who dropped of a try with muffins and left after five minutes. Unfortunately, she forgot the phone at your place. She came back over after an hour, carrying a baby and shepherding a five-year-old. She picked the phone up and left immediately. As she was leaving (for the second time) your neighbour saw her. As you finished waving her goodbye, your neighbour meets you outside. She says:I see some people are entertaining in the time of COVID-19, I would never do that, she adds. After hearing your neighbour's remarks, you start sensing your anger. Your mind is telling you that you always follow the COVID-19 procedures. Your friend there was only at your place for five minutes. She is adding that “young people nowadays are so irresponsible. They are causing further spread of COVID-19”. Your neighbour's tone of voice is annoying. You feel ready to react now. Tell her what you think, Your mood from “annoyance” jumps to “upset" and then to “angry”, You are ready to cry “as nobody sees your good intentions”. Sounds familiar? You feel a knot in your stomach.

Time for RAIN.

R – will stay for recognize. Recognize that now you are experiencing something that feels like (you put your words here) to you. When you are stopping to define the feeling, you stay quiet, you scan your body and your feelings. You may think, “I am mad”, “It’s unfair” or “I am upset”. What is happening in your mind now – you are gaining a perspective. You look inward. You observe your body.

A – is for allow (acknowledge) that your experience is unpleasant, it is just an experience. It is not you that are bad, it is your body that feels hurt or anxious. Do not jump into self-criticism like "I never do anything well or “I am not good enough”. Do not pour gas over the fire, by criticizing yourself. This way you are increasing your emotional pain. You cannot change the situation, so stay with it. Be quiet and listen to your body.

I – stays for investigate. One of my meditation teacher called it, “a welcome mat” stage. You start with the attitude of curiosity, how does your body react. You felt a knot in your stomach. Let’s examine it, was it tight? Was it a rope know or a thin tread piercing your body? Do you feel hot? Are your hands hotter than your feet? Your curiosity takes over, for the first time you listen to your body with such intensity.

Focus your attention on the body part that experiences this feeling, feel it in you. It is not the time to overanalyze how you should have behaved. Be quiet, turned inward. Just be. Once you have completed this step, you may experience its calming effect on your body.

N – stays for non-identification. It is not “my anger”, “my hurt”. Instead, see it as your body feeling it, and you are the observer. You need to disentangle yourself and continue to be the observer. As the seconds pass, you feel that the increasing distance between the anger and you. Your stomach starts to relax, and you experience a sense of release and lightness.

RAIN needs practice. You need to reprogram your standard “react’ to “respond”. Gain time by observing your body. Be more with your body and less with the voice in your head. It requires work and non-judgmental presence at the moment. Even a little victory and a tiny welcome mat will pave the road to the “silence of the mind”.

In 1557, Thomas Tusser mentioned for the first time “April Showers bring May flowers”. He wrote in “A Hundred Good Points of Husbandry”. His exact text was: “Sweet April showers do spring May flowers”. Let’s work on our own, inside-garden.